Normal Life vs. The Brain Fog

The single most difficult aspect of Hepatitis C as a disease and of the treatment for Hep C is the combination of memory loss, concentration loss and cognitive loss known as brain fog. Hep C sufferers consistently comment that it is the most troubling and hard to handle aspect of the disease. Hep C itself has a side effect in many of its victims of varying forms of memory and thinking difficulties and when you combine the effects of the Hep C virus with the side effects of taking interferon you get the syndrome they call interferon brain fog. It affects all aspects of your life to one degree or another.

It goes beyond merely forgetting where your keys are or what the name of a movie you saw in the past is. It extends to trying to remember what you walked into the room to do, what it is you were trying to say a moment ago, what you were going to make absolutely sure you got done today or even what you sat down to write about. Perhaps the most troubling aspect of brain fog is that it can actually make you forget the fact you have brain fog, a classic lose-lose situation.

You forget that you have noticed very particular situations that you made note of in the past with an eye towards either avoiding in the future or not entering in to without a plan to make the situation go as smoothly as possible. You find yourself unable to concentrate even though you know you are in a situation that absolutely requires that you pay attention. You discover that you cannot think through and solve the type of problem that you have been able to handle in the past. It drives you to distraction and, unfortunately, you are already there.

This past week my wife and I went to the Roots of Impressionism exhibition at the DeYoung Museum in San Francisco. In the preparations to go to the show, it completely slipped my mind that since the beginning of my treatment crowd situations make me anxious and irritable. The show was only moderately crowded but shortly after entering the galleries, I realized two things: I was starting to get really jumpy and I had forgotten to bring along my Ativan which does a very good job of calming me down in those situations. By the time we finished our tour of the exhibition I was edgy enough that when some friends we had happened upon at the show suggested going to the café for a chat, I had to decline and head home to calm down.

As an aside, I think that the person who invented the audio tour for art exhibitions should be tarred and feathered. Bad enough in the normal sort of exhibition that you have to navigate around the clumps of people reading the labels and the explanatory posters, but at least their ebbs and flows are predictable. The people walking around with audio headsets on are a nightmare. They stop and start erratically. They make sudden turns and movements and they are completely unaware of the people around them. It is the same sort of behavior as automobile drivers on cell phones and just as much of a pain in the ass.

Returning to our previously scheduled disquisition…

Two days after the jaunt to the museum, a friend who had an extra ticket invited me to a Giants baseball game. I laid out a checklist for the game that included sunscreen and a long sleeve shirt to counteract the extra sensitivity to sunlight caused by interferon; several bottles of water, some fruit, and an extra T-shirt in case the fog came in and dropped the temperature 20 degrees. I forgot entirely that baseball games draw large crowds, especially on beautiful summer afternoons. The mere act of getting through the crowd to get to my, excellent, seat already had me twitching. I had once again forgotten to bring the Ativan that allows me to handle crowds more easily. The only thing that saved the day was that the people immediately on either side of our seats decided not to attend that day and there was enough extra personal space to let me relax. It was a great game, even though the Giants lost, but it could have been a really tough day.

You would think that the dodgy experience I had at the museum only 48 hours earlier would have left an indelible mark, but even that could not penetrate the fog…