Writing Checks My Body Can’t Cash

I was tired all weekend and am tired today. It appears that while the old mind thinks that I can work full-time with no problems, the body is more difficult to convince. There are a number of reasons that contribute to this fact.

The first is that 18 months of interferon and Ribavirin just wear down your body. It is hard to understand just how pervasive that effect is until you try to return to your old activities. The body has to get used to the idea that it can do these things again. It also has to continue to rid itself of the toxins built up over the months of treatment.

Another is that the months of treatment that wore down the body also brought about an enormous lack of energy. This created a situation in which it was extremely difficult to exercise. Walking, stairs, lifting and carrying all leave you so exhausted that you have no incentive to keep attempting to be physically active. So the muscle you have left atrophies and leaves you weak as a kitten.

A third is that recovery from the anemia brought on by the Ribavirin is much slower than expected. A month after finishing treatment and even though I have been injecting Procrit weekly, my hemoglobin is only at a little over 11. Given that it was at 15 at the start of this whole shebang, there is still quite a ways to go to get back to normal.

Finally, as I mentioned a bit earlier, I am genuinely weak as a kitten. A week after I stopped treatment, I began to do some light exercise to try to build up my strength and muscle tone. The amount of various exercises that I could (or more accurately, couldn’t) do was astounding. Just to give the most embarrassing example let’s consider lunges. These are the exercise in which you step forward with one leg, drop the opposite knee down until it touches the ground and then straighten up. I could do 3 on each leg or six total. In all the years I have ever done any of these sorts of exercises it was always possible to do 10 on each side or 20 total even when my condition was terrible. The worst part was that after doing the 6 I could do, my legs were stiff the next day. Yes, I just turned 58 and have had a long bout of drugs but still, that’s damn disappointing.

All this contributes to the fact that 5 full time days equals a full time weekend of rest and even then there is not enough time to revive.